do what brings you joy.

Wearing a robe and cape is the most fun anyone can have on a day off, especially if it’s teamed with a square hat. (I know it’s not a robe or a cape but robe and cape is so much cooler than cap and gown and it makes the graduating thing a little bit Hogwarts and that’s the dream really, isn’t it?)

The dressing up, the hand shaking, the ceremony, the older wizards and witches inspiring us all with magical words. Collecting that beautiful slice of paper telling me I have a first class degree. All those things, everything, made today one of the best days so far in my little life. One of the happiest. One of the days where my brain gave me the most dopamine (if that is in fact the chemical of happiness. I'll google it… Googled it, it’s one of the “happiness” chemicals, damn it, I should have done science, not magic.) Wizardry aside, today has been one of those wonderful, remember forever, big fat brilliant days.

We get a couple of these days in our short lives. Just a few, a handful. Little sugar cube days of joy and pride and stars and moons and worlds and oysters and wands and magic. And there is nothing you can do with them but live them and love them.

For anyone who has lost someone you’ll know that on sunshine days there is a space, a gap, an ache and that missing that is so constant glows just that bit brighter, becomes just that bit tighter. I think possibly, for me, it’s because my lovely man gave me the stars without questions. We had small days in our flat that were the kind of best days that sneak up on you. The ones you only really notice after they've gone. Late in the night when your head hits the pillow and that tickling joy slips you to sleep. It was on our quiet, small days, that we talked of these big days. Planed our world around the big days. So perhaps that’s why the missing grows. It’s just very sad to do those plans without him. So despite my pride and joy today, I really miss my man. I know he would be proud, and I know he would agree with the wise wizard professor who said ‘do what brings you joy.’ So that is just what I shall do.